i'm here for a purpose, not those oh-its-because-i-can't-stand-studying-that's-why-i'm-here reasons.


and then again, that might be one of the reasons.
its because of boredom that i decided to click on the "firefox" button, and began to read blogs.

in actual fact, only my blog and your blog.


{this might get personal, so if you know you're definitely not who this post is meant for..don't bother reading, please study}

or rather, i've been reading your archives again.

recently you've been posting emo posts and all, maybe that's the reason i still felt like its not the time we made up. plus there's been stuff happening again, not that i'm much involved, but it did, afterall, got the few of us involved.

actually, involvement won't be the right term in this case, it would probably be a case of..biasness? (now, how the hell do you spell that?)

heck that part, and you know, it occured to me (actually, around 3 weeks ago) that its really sad that our only form of communication is through our blogs, and normally they ain't really nice posts. emo ones. angry ones. sad ones. maybe, i decided, i should just break this chain. however emo this post might be.


firstly i would like to bring this out. you said earlier that i shouldn't be sorry, though i seriously doubted that, and that maybe you should be (and then i thought, no, you shouldn't be) anyway that was said when i wasn't angry anymore. so i wanted to talk to you.

even though the only conversation we had after that was of you explaining how we shouldn't talk ever again, and of me persuading you of how we shouldn't be affected by these matters and i felt strongly we should talk for i'll feel weird.

about the feeling weird part, i didn't understand at that point why you said i was being selfish that the reason why i felt we should talk was just because i felt weird. i didn't understand at that time, it was until i spoke to my close friend (its obvious who she is), then she pointed out to me that if i were in your shoes, i would feel the same way too.

after some talks with her again, i've just decided to let you start the conversation whenever you wanted, even if it was maybe a year later or two. just to let matters rest, i thought i might just forget about it.


but recently, stuff have been happening again, and with the addition of a third person this time, making it four. actually again, i wasn't much involved in this four person thing, with the two of us desperately trying to talk to you and the third one well, she's actually just talking to another person and that might have sparked off your jealousy? i don't know..

okay yes, he succeded in talking to you, just that it was those on and off thingys. at least that's what's being explained to me. then maybe some weird fight (that's not acknowledged to be a fight) broke out between you and her, i'll not state the cause.

that started all of it. a wordless quarrel somehow persuaded me to feel weird again. when all you did was to maybe like a person and think complicated and occasionally to badmouth us as well. that made us feel it was unfair to us, but when i think about it again, yes you might have ruined abit of our reputation but the three of us pitted against you (or maybe you can minus a person off now or three in fact) would definitely be more unfair.

so right now, all of us ain't mad at you anymore, in personal one-to-one conversations, we all feel that we wanted to speak to you like a normal friend; just that we don't know how to start.


now let me tell you what set me writing this altogether.
its about reading your archives.

as you know, your posts lately are rather..emo for the most obvious causes.
so i got bored and read your archives :D

and i realised, they're all cheerful and happy,
even when they're sad someone's there to cheer you up
(although in your latest entry you just stated who cheered you up)
anyway that might just be a cause of me feeling sad, but ignore this.

most of all, its on how both of us talked to each other as friends,
how we joked around with our classmates,
all the funny incidents that happened within our class and in school.

like on a friend's birthday, how both of us worked together to surprise her.

seriously, i didn't imagine we were all quite close before we even knew the rest not from our school. i always thought we had the same old boring topic that's why we didn't click when problems occured, then i realised, no that wasn't the case.

now, i'm going to quote some of your entries so don't sue me for plagiarism :D


november 20, in one of those quizzes i saw my name under "people i can't live without". that reminded me of the times where we went home together and chatted about our class and all.

november 24, your birthday post. you thanked me for the present, and with the "mmmm" and the laopo thingy, didn't it remind me of how you called me laopo (and how you screamed when i tried to hug you xD). i'll hope to give you a present again this year? ...

september 21, a pissifying post. it started with you getting pissed and then of how the day passed. well, there was a portion with our msn conversations, and i was hilariously trying to make you feel better by being lame and all -.- that reminded me of the time where you called me in the middle of the night and we just talked over the phone with my parents still snoring.

september 25, started with how i asked you to blog? LOL. basically telling readers about me, you and chris's trip to the anime exhibition. the old hag and all, and i was amused by how i am emma teh great hahahahaha!

another post - i forgot to copy the date -.- but nevermind, it was of how "stupid sunli" moved your seat away from mine so you had to sit with george. and then i'm reminded of the times where we did crazy stuff during lessons while sitting to each other.

july 27, clearing matters post. its one of the three major quarrels we had, so you explained "how could u trust a retard more than u trust me?" as i recalled upon it, it was pretty stupid of me to get angry over such trivial matters...


these are enough to make me think back on all the wonderful times we had, not on talking about the same person all day, but how we spent our time as CLASSMATES, having those normal girl chats and about how we would miss 2d after we got separated.

and yes, the quarrels are those i won't forget, i know all friends do quarrel.

so once again, i'm asking you to forgive me for hurting your feelings about those immature things, not because i felt weird of not talking to you. its because i feel that we'll eventually feel this incident would be immature (of how i thought the previous ones were), and its pointless to make an extra enemy over things like this.

i'm sure you'll miss those times too, who wouldn't.
so let me erase all my memories of this, would i rather spend my time thinking of those moments spent in 2d as classmates? hopefully the next time i see you, we'll be talking about current issues and of our former class.

lastly, good luck with your mid year exams, i'm off to study now, i'm looking forward to seeing you soon.



Love,
EMMA